the other day i was walking around a cemetery and was struck by all of the flowers i saw - how, on any given day, someone’s leaving flowers for someone they loved, for someone they lost.

and i was thinking about how it’s a lot more common to leave flowers at the end than it is in the now.. that might sound morbid, but it kind of goes under the same umbrella of how we stop taking certain things for granted once something “big” or life-changing happens.

so walking around the cemetery, i decided i want to start leaving flowers now, and i want to leave them often. i don’t want to wait for death or when those unfortunate lightning strike moments occur.

and by this, i mean that i would like to leave flowers by..

leaving things better than they were when you found them.

i saw someone talk about this on Instagram story a few weeks ago when she was talking about what she had learned from her cancer battle; it was also brought up in the most recent truth talk i posted. in a wierd analogy/ metaphor type way of speaking, you can leave flowers by leaving things better than they were when you found them. just smile at others. it’s crazy how many people you walk past in new york and how few of them acknowledge your presence. acknowledging someone goes a long way and takes zero effort - look someone in the eye. wish them a good day. throw away a piece of trash you see on the floor, or the extra straw wrappers left on the counter at starbucks. or if you finished a really good book recently, leave it somewhere for someone else to find it. do that one good thing you’ve been meaning to do lately - you know what that is. leave flowers by leaving things better than they were when you found them.

letting things go.

one of the hardest lessons i’ve had to learn and integrate into my life is that you cannot change or control everything; some things just are what they are and some people are who exactly they want to be. leave flowers by finding peace. walk away from certain situations that are conflicts or a source of struggle. life isn’t meant to be turbulent all the time; if you are creating problems in order to solve them, you aren’t really solving anything. the person you love dearly who deserves better might never start acting differently or walking into the light. leave flowers by allowing them to live their truth, even if it’s not yours.

letting things be.

fun fact: i tend to head down the rabbit hole of anxiety when it comes to things i cannot control. i will be the first to admit that i have this terrible talent of randomly thinking of something small and in as quick as five minutes, i can turn it into a five alarm fire in my head. not to mention the fact that i can 100% rationalize the worry and have it make perfect sense in my mind - it’s crazy. yes, sometimes it’s valid, but mostly it’s not. it’s rarely that deep or serious. things always work out the way they should - think of all the time you’ve spent worrying about something that never came to fruition, or ended working out better than you anticipated. when it comes to those aspects of your life that you stress about or try to control, take a step back and allow them to grow into something beautiful in their own way. leave flowers by recognizing that you cannot predict the outcome of everything, and even if you could, that isn’t how it should be. you have to allow growth and change to occur; you never know when one little decision will lead to some of the most wonderful surprises.

because it’s not that hard. i had someone tell me this the other day, and he was 100% right: it’s just not as hard as i make it. internal peace is everything, and it’s all you. there’s no need to ask for outside opinions all the time. what others think or feel should not affect me or you because we’re always changing; there’s always going to be a new or different way to disappoint someone. that might sound negative but the takeaway from that is to truly let things like that go. let yourself feel inner peace when you come to terms with who you are, and what you stand for. if you marry your values and your heart to your daily life and responsibilities, you’re going to be okay. that is what matters; that’s where contentment comes from. and no one can feel that for you.

🌸

lately, i’ve come to believe that you can’t wait, but you also can’t force things. (life seems to be a whole lot of contradictions, but that’s a story for another day).

here we are, so leave flowers by celebrating now. now is now, and you’re the one who decides if it’s good, bad, or just another fleeting moment. i’m currently sitting in a park in a big city watching my best friend hang out with her friends. “old me” would want to tell you that 60 degrees in new york is a lot colder than 60 degrees in san diego, but i’m instead choosing to leave flowers by enjoying the moment and recognizing how grateful i am for this moment.

and now i have to go honor that by spending time with her.

so.. don’t wait until you’re in a cemetery to leave flowers. do it now, in any way you see fit, and you will spread beauty, energy, and all that good stuff.

and if this sounds like absolute nonsense to you.. valid, but why not just try it? you’ve got nothing to lose :)